SIR HUMPS A LOT: THE CATCH AND RELEASE MAN

Some men can’t be keepers and I knew he was that kind of man the first time I saw him at the gym. He did not know that I was watching him but I was. He was the only man in the room worth looking at and so I looked. I looked and I objectified because that is what you do when the world is a meat market.

I took off his clothes while I did my cardio. His ass was tight in his shorts so I pulled them down and off. Yes, much better. My mind liked him better naked but I wanted him to turn around so I could see the front side of him. How big are his shoes and what about his hands?

His hands were a nice size but by the time I got down to where his shoes should be he was naked again and all I could do was stare at his middle. The place where his shorts were making his ass look like apple dumplings and dinner. Dinner. I should have pizza for dinner.

Pizza sounded good and he was making things better. I was only eight minutes in to stair-mill hell, dripping sweat and needing some redemption, or fuel, or any kind of distraction that would keep me moving in my workout. Sex is a great workout. I Googled to find out how many calories I could be burning with “Sir Humps A lot.” The most popular answer was, “It depends on the position.”

Sir Humps A Lot. Now I am giggling through my workout. The liberals would be pissed about my objectification, but then who cares, I am a republican. If Donald Trump can grab them by the pussy then society certainly will not mind of I grab him by the dick? How would he react if I stopped doing cardio and went over to grab his dick? “No judgement zone. Women are equal… Remember?”

I like fitness because it releases my inner caveman and yes, I know that ladies should not talk like this. What can I say other than I am a product of my creation. The world is what it is and I am no exception. What do I know about cavemen other than that they liked to drag their women by the hair? I only like my hair pulled in the bedroom and if I am pulling yours my intent is to rip it from your scalp. I do not mess around when it comes to certain things and hair pulling is a certain thing. Not too many people get away with it in my world. It’s rare that I let myself be dominated.

Sir Humps A Lot is a dominate man. I could tell just by looking at him. He has the kind of body that made me want to climb him like a tree just to enjoy the vantage of being taller than myself. Gladiator. He could easily hold up in my ring, or at least he would until I dropped him to his knees to make him beg for more. More. I only had fifteen minutes more and my workout would be finished. Sir Humps A Lot was fine motivation, a pleasing reason to meet the goals I’ve set.

 

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