LEGO IS NOT IN MY BUDGET! KEEP CALM. BLOCK ON.

“Do you want to play Lego with me?” my boyfriend asked.

I am forty-four years old. My only child is grown. Watching cartoons and playing with toys is not something I really want to do anymore. “Sure babe,” I agreed to play with him. “We can go get new Lego sets. That sounds like fun.” I said.

I wasn’t lying. I truly enjoy putting together Lego kits. It is a hobby I could easily get into except for three things:

1. I do not have money to spend on Lego

2. I do not have anywhere to put the Lego I buy

3. I do not want to own Lego.
   

“Do you want to drive to South Center?  He asked. “They have an actual Lego store there.”

I nodded. I was eager to get out of the house.

 “Yes, I want to drive an hour to go buy toys that are not in our budget this month.” I said to myself. “Yes. I want to go buy toys that will take me farther away from what I actually want to be doing with my life.”

I say “yes” to my boyfriend.

I say “no” to myself?

Relationships require compromise and sacrifice. If Lego make my boyfriend happy we can play Legos. I am not a selfish asshole. The world does not revolve around me and besides, Lego are cathartic and mind expanding.

“Did you find something you like?” my boyfriend asked at the Lego store. He had two kits in his hands, one looked expensive and the other looked reasonable.

I shook my head. I had searched the entire store and there was nothing I was inspired to buy. “I saw a few that I liked,” I lied.

We spent $60 at the Lego store. “My brother has this set, and this set, and this set.” He said as he pointed from box to box. Each kit was $199 of more.

My boyfriend’s brother has plenty of disposable income. He can afford to spend thousands of dollars on hobbies and trinkets, but we are not in the same place financially. We can’t keep up with the Joneses (and I don’t want to).

I am the odd man out in my relationship. Poverty and wealth do not mix well. My boyfriend’s family is affluent. They spend money and it’s non consequential. When I spend money it feels like a life or death choice.

1.      I can buy Lego… or I can save my money so I can go see my dad again before he dies.

2.      I can buy Lego… or I can save my money so I can afford to hire an attorney to fight for my mother’s life.

3.      I can buy Lego… or I can save money for my ROTH IRA so I am not victimized when I am elderly. I do not want to be raped in an old people’s home. I want to be able to afford quality female caregivers.

4.      I can buy Lego… or I can save up for the beautiful wedding I’ve never had.

5.      I can buy Lego… or I can save up for a house to purchase (so I am never homeless again).

6.      I can buy Lego… or I can go for a drive and explore a new town.

7.      I can buy Lego… or I can save my money to keep up with all the gift giving that is expected at the Joneses Christmas.

Lego stress me the fuck out, but they are great for stress relief.

I chose a kit from Lego CITY. Item number 60283.- The Holiday Camper Van. My boyfriend paid $19.99 at the store. We could have ordered it on Amazon Prime for $16.99, but then we would have missed out on the masked experience of shopping at a brick and mortar. We stood in line for an opportunity to spend more money. I felt like a true America patron patriot. I am ready to move out of the country.